A Modest Proposal or Two
(Fellatio
Superwoman?) I
have two scientific proposals, one basically low-tech,
and one involving cutting edge technology. They
have little in common except that each, if implemented,
might be construed as social engineering - dangerous when
done by politicians or sociologists, but perhaps of value
when performed by the scientific/intellectual
elite. I'll cover the low tech proposal first. To begin, we need to find
a small group (20 - 30) of low income (white trailer
trash would do nicely) expecting mothers who are (a)
quite attractive and show past performance of producing
attractive children and (b) would be willing, for a
modest fee, to surrender their female child for the
furtherance of science. Next, take these newborn
infants away from their birth mothers and insure that
they are fed formula only from "bottles" shaped
like the adult human penis. As the children develop
into the crawling stage, "penis feeders" would
be mounted to the walls of their cages. Of course
the formula would change to meet their developing
nutritional needs, but no human contact, language
development or socialization would be allowed. At
an appropriate point, air bladders in their "penis
feeders" would inflate to simulate erection, so that
the children learn that a period of sucking is required
before they are rewarded with food. No other source
of food is allowed. At about 5 -6 years of age the
girls would be taught to defecate in one corner of their
cage, and at about 10 - 12 years of age would be slowly
introduced to their human handlers, but again, no
language or socialization skills are taught. At
about 13 - 14 years of age the really interesting part of
the experiment begins : the girls are lead on a leash out
of their cage for "private feedings" with
select staff members. These men take careful notes
comparing the fellatio skills of the test subjects to a
control adult female group (probably prostitutes).
If the young girls' skills compare favorably, then they
could be shipped to government research laboratories and
housed in cages identical to the ones they were raised
in. "Private feedings" would be used as a
performance incentive for the best programmers, nuclear
scientists, geneticists, engineers, etc. Such an
incentive program might be just what's needed to restore
the prestige of the scientific professions in this
country and to lessen the flow of students into socially
useless professions like law, sociology, and business
administration. If nothing else, from a purely
scientific point of view, I think it would be interesting
to see whether the experiment could yield "fellatio
superwomen." |
